Happy Bunny Day!

I'm so tired that I think it hurts to sleep, much less blog...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Oops... I was so tired I forgot to even finish the blog post! I'm alive and borderline-well, if manic-insomniac (except between the hours of 4 and 8pm of course) and taking my expensive antibiotics like a good girl while I try to build up enough neutrophils to get chemo in a week and a half.

Note to self, and any interested relatives: Tell me to get labs done Monday or Tuesday.

I know I've been very absent, here, Facebook, and even a certain Scrabble game, but it just seems that I either have too much to do that I HAVE to do, or if I have free time that I plan to use catching up with friends, no matter what time of the day or night, THAT will be the moment I conk out. Like I did before I somehow published this mess of an entry!

So far, I've managed to fall asleep writing this particular entry at least four times by last count. I'm going to finally quit while I'm ahead. Auntie, Dad & Josh are here to keep me company while the guys are on their trip, so I'm happy as a clam!

Stupid shitty crappy defective blood

Sooooooooooooo, we did NOT have chemo today.

After all of the running about all morning, leading us up the mountain bit by bit, once we finally get there, I failed my damned blood test. Blood tests are usually easy. I've never failed one before, and certainly not so spectacularly.

Those nice little baby white blood cells that your bone marrow makes, which I guess are the really important ones — the normal sample range was between 1.5 and 6.5 (don't ask me 6.5 what, I have no idea) and MINE were 0.8 Oops. There was another count almost as low.

I've been sentenced to two weeks off chemo, a series of three shots of something, and we'll see what else when Dr. Mazj gets ahold of me.

I need a nap now.

Hippity Hop!

Hello, Spring? Is that you I saw peeking out from between the rainclouds? Maybe?

Oh, I sure as hell hope so. My little bunny rabbit isn't the only one who's getting cabin fever and itchy paws, pining for sunshine, warm grass, and hours reading in the patio swing. We've had some tiny pockets of nice weather here and there, and it really does bring on the Spring fever!

The doggies have enjoyed the few times I've been able to turn them out in the yard to run in circles or race full-tilt from one end of the lawn to the other and back (Stella), stretch out on the warm concrete and roll in the warm grass (Pea) and eat the warm grass (Sparky). Sparky is a little confused sometimes.

With Easter literally just around the corner now, I can only hope the weather decides to get on board for us. Easter week is extra-super-duper special now, and I want nice weather!!

See, Lloyd is taking the boys on a guy road trip down to see Pop, Kenny and DeDe in Shell Beach, leaving me and Anna to man the fort. They want to have good weather for some hiking/walking around the lighthouse where Ken is a volunteer, kayaking, stuff lke that. They've got all kinds of neat stuff to go do down there, and I was actually getting jealous.

{Stop! Wait! Insert great auto-correct here: It's not as if ima crisply capable}

What I was trying to say was that it's not as if I'm actually capable, not crisply, actually capable of doing things like kayaking and climbing lighthouses, but still - road trip, OCEAN, you know.

And then, the cavalry came riding to the rescue. Er, well, the cavalry *told* me they'd be riding to the rescue. Same thing.
SO, while the boys head south to go play, Auntie and Josh and Daddy are heading north to come play with me and Anna! I absolutely could not be happier!! Instead of us rattling around here on our own, now it's a party! Now I need some nice weather up here too, since Josh has only been up once, in the dead of ugly, ugly winter, and I'd love to show him how pretty it really is up here when you can go outdoors and play.

AND, yes, everyone involved feels better now that there will be qualified adults babysitting ME while Lloyd is gone. I couldn't ask for a better helper than Anna, ever, but it is still a relief that we don't have to handle every last single thing on our own, and these are the three most qualified adult babysitters possible. I can go take a long nap knowing that she's not alone - that takes the world off my chest!

Well, I simply have the best cavalry in the cavalry business.

Chemo today, sigh, but a short one. How short, I couldn't tell you. This is still my first cycle with these new drugs. There's one long day and one short, but I'm not certain on the timing for either. Today is a busy day - before chemo, I get my teeth installed!!! Isn't that exciting?!! I never in my life dreamed I'd be so thrilled about dentures at 40, but considering the very painful alternatives I've been living with since the chemo started leaching my calcium and eating my enamel.....well, it's been a hard road of soft food. We all want to go over to the Sierra Nevada Brewery for a lunch or dinner while everyone's here, so I'm hoping that my very tender and sore mouth and gums have healed and adapted to their new appliances in time that I can order something maye a little more interesting than most of my recent choices. We shall see.

Off to get ready, and to count the days till the party starts!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

HIPPO BIRDIE TO DADDY!!!

. . . Dear Daddy!!!!



C'mon, he's a pretty special Daddy, you gotta admit. He deserves the best birthday in the entire world, spaceships and zebras, miracles and whatever else Daddies wish for on their birthday. I'll do what I can.

Love you Daddy! I can't wait to see you!

The morning bedscape...

It's kinds hard to see, but, clockwise from the top left/middle, we have a 65# Stella puppy wrapped in her blankie, because she was cold; a sweet spotty Sparky; the ears of a Pooter-fuzzle; me under Pooter; the Peadog; and an implication of a husband, under the blankets.

And people wonder why we think "king" is far too small a size for a bed! It's...cozy...

Well, day 2 post-transfusion and you know what Cin? You're right... I think I kinda feel better! I had a hellacious bug beforehand, along with the usual chemo, cancer & fibro aches, and the truth is, while I'm not dancing, I feel somewhat decent. That's a big deal for me! I'd ask Dr. Mazj to set me up with one of these more often, buy I suspect they are not cheap, and I suspect Medi-Cal would not like that much.

Speaking of my fantastic doctor, I was really kind of shocked last week to find out it was his birthday...his 40th birthday!!!!!!!

He's the same age as me! That just feels so weird. I hope he made very good use of all that time *I* spent in nightclubs, concerts and following bands around, because I sure didnt! If that makes sense.

Anyway, new blood, even that small amount of it, seems to have done me some good.

Now, if only something could do some of those fucked-up, idiotic, dimwitted, moronic, self-absorbed, pompous, clueless, asswipes in all three or four or twelve parties in Washington HALF as much good, so they would quit using the very real lives of the people who elected them as bargaining chips in some sort of ideological/idiotic war and get off their fat, over-paid asses and do the jobs they were hired to do - BY WORKING TOGETHER.

Some of us live on Social Security, assholes.

Sorry. It needed to be said.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

CRAP!!! Pt I. Apologies all around; & Pt. II. Bloooooooooood!

OOOOOOK, I really stepped in it this time.

When I got my CT results, I was in a hurry, and very hurriedly emailed them to the folks closest to me - you know, Mom, Dad, etc., - and somehow in my fucked-up (yet amazingly tumor-free!) brain I thought I had also posted them to the blog.

It took me until right now to figure out that I hadn't.

Oh, I am SO sorry!!!! I know that I have a huge group of incredible, supportive people out there who go to this blog for all the update - as it should be - and I really screwed up. I've been skipping along, la-di-da, thinking I had informed everyone, right on schedule, and by NO means do I want to imply that anyone is less important than anyone else. I just screwed up, and I feel horrible about it!

SO....

What has happened is what I described as scenario C on my blog entry below.  The topotecan chemo drug apparently did shit to the tumor nodules, and the little fuckers decided to grow some. I guess they liked it & thought it was yummy.

The largest nodule is still ridiculously small, as far as I'm concerned. But, it's 18mm, and it's neighbor is 14mm.

It's not little enough for Dr. Mazj.  He is very unhappy with the little shits.  He's changed my chemo treatment again, which means that I am on two drugs again - Cisplatin, which was my very first chemo drug, way back when; and something new called Gemzar.  I will have chemo two weeks on and 1 week off, starting next Monday. It was s'posed to start yesterday, but I am really god-awful sick with some horror show virus that brings the biggest, full-mouth cold sores you have ever seen.

The sessions with Cisplatin are going to be very long, all day affairs, but in some, where I get Gemzar alone, it will be a pretty short. I'm a little confused as to which is which, but I'm sure I'll figure it out along the way.

And I think in some sessions I get both.  And apparently, the day after each chemo session, I will be getting some Neulasta (white cell booster) and a red cell booster in the form of either Procrit or Ferrlecit. I still have some questions about that.

Dr. Mazj also wants me to consider some clinical trials. Having been a trial patient in the past, i know what kind of chaos it is.  But, I will give them full consideration like I said I would.  At least I know what to look for in the trial paperwork.

I'm keeping one thing very much in mind:  This news could have been much, much, much worse.  It's not great, but it could have been MUCH worse.

SO!! All of that being said.... As I mentioned, I'm sick. I've got the virus with the cold sores, and a few slight on and off fevers. I've got something nasty in my chest which involves multicolored goop, for which I've been ordered on to antibiotics. AND, apparently one or two types of blood counts are low, and Dr. Mazj is NOT pleased, so for once, instead of just taking my blood, they're actually going to give me some.

I went up today for a quick draw so they could do the type and cross required for a transfusion, I'm all labeled now, and I'm to be there at the hospital tomorrow at 9 am for a five-hour transfusion. Doesn't that sound like fun? Whee! I guess I'll get in some good reading or napping time!

And speaking of napping, I am very late getting started on THAT today too, so off I go. I think I've caught up here, and I am truly sorry for the omission. My body says it's time to rest now....
xoxoxo