Checking in...

Howdy world. I'm still out here, still alive, just kind of laying low. There hasn't been a lot to say about me lately. The one and only piece of medical news I have is that my thyroid is whacked out, and we're having to fiddle with the meds to try and get it to behave. All my other recent labs were actually pretty decent, for once.

Otherwise...just laying low. I've had some intense personal stuff to deal with, stuff which has been very upsetting, depressing, scary, frustrating, miserable and just plain sad.

So very, very sad.

Most surprisingly, it's made me realize how much I've come to rely on this blog as a way of working through my feelings, because in this circumstance, I can't use it. The stories, once again, are not mine to tell, and that is surprisingly hard for me to accept.

I have been sworn to secrecy, a manner of coping I strongly disagree with, but the decision is not mine to make either. All I could do was advise, share my experiences, beg, be angry, be sad, beg a tiny bit more, and finally remove myself from the entire situation. I just can't handle being in the middle of something which requires me to lie to everyone I know. That is a miserable place to dwell.

So, I'm still here...depressed & sad, literally sick to my stomach, just kind of hiding out, sleeping too much & eating too little.

I can not and will not lie to all of you, the people who've supported me so much over the last year, so this post is here to tell you all why I've disappeared - at least as much as I'm able. I'm

ok, for the most part, and happy to hear from folks via email, facebook, texts...I'll just be pretty quiet for a while.

Many thanks and big hugs to everyone who's been there for me for so long. I'm sorry to desert you, but hopefully it won't be for too long. I'll pull out my lab results from a couple weeks ago and share all the good news found in them, which is something I meant to do back when I first got them, stuff like that, so at least you'll know I'm alive. :-)

Happy Fall everyone!!