In the last week or so, I've been getting a bunch of people wanting to befriend me on Facebook. At first I was pretty baffled as to who some of them were, researching them on fb didn't give me any answers. Those were easy - click the "ignore" button, no concerns involved. It got a little harder when I realized that some of them were actually relatives, albeit relatives who I've not seen or even heard of since I was about 9. As the news of my cancer has spread into the distant parts of my family, I guess more people became interested in seeing what was going on.
Sooooo....I wanted to explain my little "policy" that's sort of evolved. This blog is public. It's meant and expected to be seen by anyone who cares to look and share part of this god-awful journey through the land of cancer. Come one, come all, peek behind the curtain at the freak show! 3 Ring Cervix, you know.
Facebook, however, is not public. I've made a personal decision that Facebook is for ME, as an adult, with my friends. On there, I don't want to be obligated to ask act like a grownup because my kids, grandkids, or whoever are seeing it. I don't want to feel that I have to censor anything I write and want to be 100% comfortable sharing my feelings, my thoughts, and my cancer crap without worrying that the information will be repeated anywhere else, or shared with people that don't even know me. So, with *very* little exception, the only friends I have on fb are people I am friends with and had experiences with out in the real world.
None of this is meant to insult anyone or reflect negative feelings about anyone. It's just that I don't know you. That's all. I want my one little private thing where I can still be the me that I was before I became Cancer Girl and had my whole world turned into one giant medical drama.
So...if you've asked me to be friends on Facebook and I have not accepted, that is the reason. Nothing more, nothing less.
Kind of long to explain, but pretty simple in the end. I figured I'd better explain to the world at large because I HATE hurting anyone's feelings.
OK! On to a happier topic!
I've started working on something to help me through some of the harder times. At first I was
thinking of a picture frame, filled with a collage of pictures of people and things that make me happy. Now it's mutated into something more. I have a stack of these little bitty 4x6 size photo albums that I got at the dollar store for putting recipe cards in, way back when. (Still a fantastic idea to organize all those recipe cards that float around your kitchen!)
I keep thinking of this as nano-scrapbooking. So far, all I've managed to do is start gathering the pictures and snippets of letters and stories that make me happy. It's something very personal, that's really only going to make sense to me, so I don't plan on sharing the actual product with anyone; however, I thought the idea was worth sharing. And we all know lots of people who could use a few more pieces of portable happiness...right?
CT scan was done this morning, despite a last-second worry that I wouldn't make it to the test, thanks to my intestines. I made it through all the barium nastiness, and in theory, we will get the results tomorrow afternoon when we go see Dr. Mazj. I honestly wish you could all be there with me to hold me up when I find out, but I know that my darling husband and the world's world's greatest team of nurses will do a great job.
It's the waiting that will make me insane...
Stay tuned.
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