Wellllll, here we go again...

Ahhhh, the very early am before the latest CT result appointment.

A couple of hours ago, I really would have told you I wasn't terribly concerned - and I wasn't. I still don't *feel* concerned, worried, whatever, but it's 3:30 am, my first attempt at sleeping was a complete waste of time, and here I am. I really am interested in the results of this one in a *very-almost" clinical way.

Up through my previous test, I'd been receiving a drug called Taxol. Each scan showed very slight growth on the nodules, but nothing "medically significant," in their parlance. Well, that either meant the drug was keeping the nodes from growing more than a teeny bit, or it meant it was doing absolutely nothing at all, and the nodules would have grown that much anyway.

So, right after the last scan, we switched to a new drug, Topotecan. I've been on that once a week; three weeks on, one week off, since the beginning (some typo I just made converted "beginning" into "stinking.". This entertains me to no end!!!) {sorry -} of the calendar year, and this will be the first test to see if it's actually done anything.

As I see it, there are basically three possible outcome/inference sets to this test.
A) a marked, "medically significant" reduction in the size or number of nodules in the lung, which would lead us to infer that the Topotecan is working quite well.
B) a small, not "medically significant" growth in either the size and/or number of the nodules, which would leave us once again unsure if the drug was working, in keeping the growth minimal; or not working at all, letting the cancer move at it's own snail-y pace.
Or
C) a marked, very significant (medically or otherwise!) growth in size or number of the nodules in the lungs, or worse (yes, there *is* a "worse!"), spread of the cancer to any other part of my body. That is the worst result I can imagine.

Yes, that is the worst possible outcome, which was why I was so terrified of the brain scan.

SO, it is now time for me to go get showered and lovely for my drive up the mountain. It's starting to be my favorite time of year to make the drive - the hills are all lush green, and the wildflowers are starting to pop out everywhere, like brushstrokes of color splashed on the dark green backdrop. If I can ever remember to hunt for a good stopping and parking place near where I can see anything - and if I can FIND such a thing, I will try my damnedest to get some good pictures this year. It is better in person though, hint, hint....so you should come visit to see for yourself. 8•)

Off to get ready - appointment at 11:15, and I promise to text, tweet, blog and Facebook my test results as soon as I get 'em. Gotta love having WiF at the cancer center!!