Sunday, February 7, 2010

A daily diary

INCREDIBLY excitable and happy addendum at bottom, please read!

So, I've been thinking. Well, I've been thinking a LOT, which is not surprising. Way back when I started this blog, I really had no idea what the future would hold. At the time, I never imagined THIS, but I did really plan on trying to make it a daily recording of what it was *really* like for me to go through my fight with cancer, warts and all.

It never quite evolved as far as I thought it would, but I think it's time to try and change that. There is probably someone, somewhere out there who is looking down the barrel of a cancer diagnosis, procrastinating on their yearly Pap tests, or wondering if they should get their daughter a Gardasil vaccination.

This is not to say that it will be elegant or eloquent; at times it may be little more than a day number and a few words. At times it is going to be very ugly, very unpleasant or very graphically T-M-I.

But it will be honest.

There is only one thing I need to ask you all to do. I need everyone who reads this regularly, or even ONCE, to sign up to "follow" the blog. I believe you can follow it anonymously; alternately, sign up as "Lurker12" or something. The point of having followers is basically find-ability. The more followers, as I understand it, the higher it would show up in Blogger searches for blogs about being 38 and fighting cancer.

So, please, sign up for me?

To catch things up to where we are now, I'm going to work on a very brief description of each day up till now, starting with Day 1, January 26, which is the day my heart stopped for a few minutes.

Day 1: Diagnosis day. This is the day everything changed, forever.
Day 2: The scramble...to get ready to enter chemo again, at a dramatically different level than before, to get all those chickens back in a row, and to try and start telling everyone who matters in my life what this horrible thing is that has just happened.
Day 3: My first combo-chemo infusion; a nice long day at the lab, with Aimee providing some nice company. Just like old times! ;-)
Day 4: Dad & Chris up to visit; they drove me up the mountain for my Neulasta shot and some IV hydration, and then home for some tacos and lots of conversation deep in the wee morning hours.
Day 5: Took Dad & Chris out searching the backroads for some of our cool local birdies, and were rewarded with a Bald Eagle, a couple groups of Sandhill Cranes, lots of hawks and lots of assorted ducks, geese & swans. Back down south a bit for a loop around the Sutter Buttes, our little local mtn range and a trip to In'n'Out in Yuba City and then back home. Nap for me and a drive back home for Dad & Chris. I don't think I did much that evening, at least not that I recall.

Ok, that takes us through the first Saturday. Day 6 is when life got ugly, so I'll pick up the catching up post there.
Later.
I need a nap.
---------------
But first! An addendum...or two, to be precise.
1. Some of those very dear people I'm surrounded with have been coming forward with gifts and cash to help me do and enjoy whatever I might want. How wonderful is that?

I just couldn't think of something!!

Now I have, and it's brilliant!!! la-di-da-di-da-da-da
My yoga teacher, Lisa, is a certified massage therapist, in addition to her yoga & wellness credentials AND being an American Medical Association-accredited registered nurse. Put all that together, and she can work with me on both restorative and "fitness" yoga; "repair work" yoga, as I call it; meditation for help in pain control and getting through the worst days, AND give me nummy, nummy massages!

Yay!!
I wonder if she'd come live with me.....

I'm still not sure what the cost on this combo-service will be, but I do know that I'll be able to afford one session with her for each cycle remaining in this first set of chemo treatments.

Can you tell that I'm a little excited about this? And, I have my "extra-Auntie" (who shall remain anonymous) to thank for putting the idea in my head. Huge thanks to RGD & EJD all over again!!! I love you very, very much. (And I remember your full *real* names, too, lol)

2. I would like to ask for some comments on this post please - and in those comments, the names of some of your favorite kids' books. Ones you loved or still do, your kids love now, you name it. The more the merrier. If you have comments about the books, why you love it, great, if not, take a really quick sec, throw me a name of two, and off.

I'd really appreciate it!!

M a s s a g e s . . . . . .

7 comments:

Auntie said...

O.K., I'll go first. I have to say I love this posting because it is bursting with energy and positivity. I think the yoga and massage idea is amazing but if Lisa moves in with you she will be busy cause I'm coming too! A massage is very healing in itself. If we could get them on demand a lot less Advil would be sold.Here is a kiss for everyone who sent gifts, you are fabulous!
As for the book question...you know me and kids books, the list would be a mile long but right now me and a certain 7 year old are in love with Skippyjon Jones. A Siamese cat who bounces on his bed waaay too much, thinks he is a Chihuahua,walks into his closet and ends up in Mexico having adventures with his band of beanbag friends who go by the name of Los Chimichangos. Oh and you gotta love it when his mama Junebug Jones calls him Mr. Fuzzy Pants and Mr. Fluffernutter and that he has the most amazing imagination and a spanish accent. Let me know if you want me to pack it when I come up, it's not just for 7 year olds you know. I am bringing another little surprise with me, I can't wait!
Love you
Auntie

Jaime said...

Read this at 5 am before work and now I can leave a comment. *g*

Kids books...there are so many, most of which have been favorites forever.

Charlotte's Web for sure, all the old Oz books--the ones that went beyond the Wizard of Oz--all the longer, more complex Dr. Seuss books. With picture books you have Tuesday, Where the Wild Things Are, There's A Nightmare In My Closet, just for starters.

And those books I gave Anna, the ones my friend Sarah P. wrote, The Magic Thief and the sequel rock.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Eat some See's for me.

Love you
Mom

lyn dinelli said...

The massage idea sounds great Steph! I'm happy you figured out something you will enjoy. MY favorite kids book is Pierre cause it teaches why its important to care. Love you so much, thinking of you all the time. Lyn

Pabs said...

My hope for you, among other hopes: above the line numbers for your WBCs...as you know, I now own three that will never leave me!

Books, not that I read ;)
The Giving Tree & Where the Sidewalk Ends (Shel Silverstein.), Hollis bought me copies of both, so I did actually read them...
& the ones I remember...Green Eggs And Ham, The Cat In The Hat, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

Another small box on it's way to you without nuts!

Anonymous said...

I love the massage idea.....sounds good.....my fav books as a kid were....Charlotte's Web, Charlie and the Choclate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Ralph and the Motorcycle, the Little House on the Parire series, and many more i cant remember right now.....

Love Ya
Rhonda

darcy said...

I read to the girls every night... I'm getting a little tired of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" but it puts them to sleep every time and it is a short read, so quick sleeping kids is a plus. I loved the Giving Tree as a kid. I also have one called "Giraffes Can't Dance" that I like. The colors/pictures are amazing, and it is about how its ok to be different. I have the treasury of Dr. Seuss and LOVE LOVE LOVE Yertle the Turtle... probably keeps my ego in check. I think of all of the Seuss books this one reads the most rythmic. When I was probably 10-12 I was a big fan of all the Black Stallion books... stereotypical girls and horses (but I did own a racehorse later on in life!). I also read a bunch of the old Grimm fairytales and some different tales from other cultures. They scare the hell out of me as an adult, but I remember as a kid that it never bothered me that Hansel's parents were leaving them off in the woods to starve - a horrendous long and grueling death. Happy thoughts to go to sleep to....

Lisa Vigil said...

The Giving Tree! The tree used to kinda piss me off cuz he shoulda slapped that selfish little boy, but that's the amazing lesson for me: that the tree was patient & loving & giving & never aspired to be anything less than that. Pretty cool tree. (But, I'm not as cool as that tree; I so woulda smacked Boy.)