Wednesday, May 26, 2010

And the CT was good! Ver. 2.0


As most of the universe probably knows by now (thanks to my endless texting, tweeting and Facebook status update), the CT was good. In fact, it was about as good as it could possibly reasonably be.

As with the last one, the nodules in my lungs have not moved, grown or multiplied. Dr. Mazj is of the opinion that some or all of them could be scarring left after the chemo bombardment.

There is no sign of cancer anywhere else in my body that we can see.

My port, the neat little gizmo that lets them deliver the chemo more directly and without destroying my veins, was giving me some trouble, and we were wondering if it had moved, gotten somehow disconnected, or something, so Dr. Mazj had them check that both on the CT and with a catheterogram yesterday. That involved putting me under some nice claustrophobic devices in the cath lab and shooting iodine into the port to look at it on a fluoroscope. So far, so good. We still don't know why it's bugging me, but it's where it should be and still working.

SO, after getting the great news from Dr. Mazj & then getting my port checked out, I sat down for one last hydration session, at least for a while, and then . . . I was set free for the summer, with plans to come back in September for another CT. A summer free of chemo and shots and *everything* icky!!!

But, we should make sure that the important details are clear:
  • None of this means I'm cured. I am not cured, and I will not ever be cured.
  • Right now, what I am is *stable* - no signs of the disease progressing.
  • If I stay stable, right where I am now, for some period of time, maybe years, then I'll be able to say I'm in remission, but I'm not sure how long that will take.
  • Any of this could change, at any minute, so I have to be sure to be vigilant about paying attention to my body and any changes or symptoms I might have.
  • I am not "well" yet, by any means. I still feel like crap, and chemo side effects can pop up ridiculous amounts of time after therapy has stopped; so I shouldn't worry if I'm still having issues throughout the summer, even if I need to go in and get hydrated every so on. It's going to take time for me to get back to where I was even last December; not to mention where I was before I got cancer.
  • The goal for the summer is to try and get back into a "normal" life, whatever in the hell that means, and start getting some strength back, healthy habits and a better ratio of up time to down time.
  • However . . . I still have quite a number of other health problems above and beyond the cancer which aren't gone and aren't going anywhere either. I'm not a healthy person, unfortunately.
  • And, most importantly:
There are absolutely NO guarantees that the cancer will not pop back up in my lungs, or in some other part of my body. My life span is still a complete unknown. I think I can say that it's longer than a year now, by quite a lot, but there is zero assurance that I will see 70 or 80 - or even 50 or 60.

All I know now is that I've got a chance; a reprieve. Nobody's future is certain, mine is just a little less certain than some peoples' in a lot of ways. Ok, one thing is certain: It's naptime.
More later...after I sleep.
To all of you out there, I love you very much. You are a large part of why I've made it this far.

3 comments:

Pabs said...

This is all good news, isn't it nice when they tell you something GOOD for once? I too am amazed how long all this stuff can stick in your system, its half life has a half life. As you told me, life will never be 'normal' again, I know now EXACTLY what you meant/mean...I like you am now on the 'see you in 3 months' plan, so we will see what that brings for us...rest, its nice that they gave you this as a present just in time for your birthday!~P

auntie annie said...

Great news ! So....your next assignment is remission for ever !
Love ya. Auntie Annie

Auntie said...

Schools out for summer! Lots to look forward to...like looking forward.I am happy with this little golden period we will be living through and I'm going to do a Scarlett O'Hara and worry about everything else tomorrow.Love you lots missy.
Auntie