There's always a Bob (or a Bill)

See, now Pauline's story (see comments for "Have we met?") about Bob, the nice older gent at her chemo is just what I meant, only we have Bill.

At our cancer center, if you mention a certain type of person, everyone automatically says, "oh, like Bill." If you're a newbie and someone is trying to explain certain things, they might ask, "Have you met Bill yet?"

Bill, like Bob, is the nice older gent who somehow seems to be preternaturally happy about this whole affair. I've never met a wife, but then again I've only had chemo with Bill once. The first time I met him was my first go-round, when I attended the dermatology seminar. I was very, very new, and it must've shown, because a sweet lady named Eloise started filling me in on the workings of the seminar, and then the entire center, with Bill providing color commentary. Through Bill, I learned the iron-clad group rule about chemo: No whining, no crying, no feeling sorry for yourself, or the rest of the gang will descend upon you with some sort of unimaginable punishment. (like, maybe more chemo?!)

While I've since learned that (as I suspected from the start) they are really far nicer than they make themselves out to be, Bill and his gang of "lifers," like ME now, I guess(!) really do make an impression on you! Once you've heard Bill, I think most anyone would think three or four times about whining or why-me-ing in that room, and the nurses probably quietly worship him for it.

Hell, I've met the guy three times and I'll never forget. Mob justice? Positive peer pressure? All I know is that chemo is actually quite a pleasant place to be. People who haven't been there with me have a scarier image of the place, but to me it is the single safest place in the world, very calm, relaxing, and did I mention safe? The "no whiners" group philosophy keeps people laughing in what could be hell on earth! It's really not a bad fraternity to be in, all things considered.

Bill is just the embodiment of that attitude, a walking reminder that things could be far worse, because we ARE walking, talking and laughing, and not strapped to a bed somewhere deep in the bowels of the hospital.

I am far from being the outgoing type myself. I am never going to be the model patient that Bill and his long-lost brother Bob seem to be, but I guess being exposed to him and his brethren probably helps us all a bit. I STILL will never show up for chemo with nothing more than a newspaper & my reading glasses, but it's a start, right?

That little bit of hand-holding from Bill & Eloise at the beginning were invaluable and I have found myself reaching out to a couple of newcomers, trying to give them that same little bit of an introduction I got. And yes, I have even said to someone, "Have you met Bill yet?"

And yet....
This is again a story about the folks who are far better behaved than I!! Isn't there anyone snotty and bitchy out there?!! ::sigh::

Thank you, and rest in peace Eloise. I know I'm far from the only one w ho misses you.