Hello, I have cancer. How are you?

But you probably already knew that. I'm starting this blog so that I can keep lots of people updated all at the same time. The good news part of that is that I have a lot of people who want to be updated and care how I'm doing.

Thank you all. I can't do this without you.
I really mean that. I never imagined I'd have this kind of support.

Yes, this is entirely public, readable to anyone on the internet, but I don't care. I'm not posting anything "personal" here, and if descriptions of my medical hell might help someone else, great. Frankly, I have better things to worry about than caring if strangers hear about the state of my cervix.

Please feel free to email me, or post any comments you have--just not anything you don't want the world to read!! :-)

And please, please, no walking on eggshells, no losing our collective sense of humor, 'k? I'm not laying around feeling pitiful, I'm watching CNN and making snide comments....

PLEASE subscribe to this blog if you want my occasional updates on my test results and conditions. I'm not going to drive you all nuts with incessent posts, just the stuff that you might care about.

You can subscribe to this blog by clicking on the subscription button up there on the right and new posts about how I'm doing will come to you, or I can manually sign you up if you need me to.

The basics so far:

• My prior Pap test, in March of 2007 was negative.
• For more than a year, I've had unspecified pain in my lower-lower back and entire pelvic area.
• Seeking some sort of answers for that, I had CT scans and ultrasounds and an OB/GYN scheduled me for a hysterectomy to remove my evil cystic ovaries and everything else, despite the fact that I have NO health insurance.
• Well, almost everything......we left the cervix in, because at the time there was no reason to take it out, and by leaving it, I could have an outpatient procedure, saving lots of money.
• Had some random spotting months after the surgery, which the doc couldn't explain, just that I was bleeding on the outer surface of my cervix.
• Turns out, I should have had a Pap done right before the procedure...
• I had my annual exam in August, and got a definitive "F" on my Pap test. Still bleeding.
• Developed severe panic attacks. Oops.
• Went back for a colposcopy and biopsy on August 20, and I was able to see on the monitor that there was some very, very unhappy looking tissue on my cervix.
• The biopsy came back positive for an aggressive, invasive squamous carcinoma.
• I am now scheduled for an appointment with a new OB/GYN tomorrow.
• CT scan on Tuesday.
• The current idea is that I'll be receiving most of my treatment down in the Bay Area, but all of that is up in the air right now.

That's pretty much where we stand as of right now...I am happily calm thanks to the miracle of Xanax. I'm managing to keep down at least the equivalent of one small meal a day, which is also an improvement. I'm working very proactively to find answers and resources and help.

And, today, I'm taking a big break. I've made phone calls and dealt with paperwork, and set up this blog, and I'm absolutely exhausted. My throat is sore from talking. The persistant pain in my far lower back and lower right pelvic area woke me up this morning and has been making me buggy ever since.

So now, it is time to rest, and to take a nap and try and feel a little better so I have energy to run around picking up CT films and other errands before my appointment tomorrow afternoon.

Again, thank you.