Happy Halloweenies!

Those happy Halloweenies would be us!

We like Halloween around here. Even the boys finally find a reason to leave their troll-cave, to

join in the important business of scaring the living shit out of almost* anyone and everyone they can.

[*There is an automatic exception made for anyone under the age of 8 and/or wearing pink fairy princess wings. It seems to be a rule that all little tiny, under-5 girls come with a set of

pink wings. Are they issued at birth?]

The front yard is decorated, intensely. We have the largest collection of styrofoam tombstones on the entire street. A casual passer-by might even make the mistake of thinking we're DONE decorating. Ha ha ha ha ha!

The real work begins right at dusk. That's when the lightsticks start getting cracked, and the light-up ice cubes (YES, I still have a bunch of those damned things!) get banged on things, and all the final, glowing, eerie touches are put on things. That reminds me, I have a ghost to finish!

Do we go overboard? Well, I'd have to emphatically say yes; but we have a rep to protect here! Over the last couple of Halloweens

here in Gridley, a town that takes holiday decor very, very seriously, we've expanded our decorating each year. It's worth it, to be the house that the kids all say "Wow!" over. Anna even had a boy tell her about this great house she HAD to see. . . her own.

And, this year, surgery is after Halloween, not before. Gee, I wonder when surgery will be next year? Kidding, kidding. Last year I wasn't able to really get out there and enjoy it the way I wanted to because I was recovering from the massive cancer surgery. Anna went trick or treating last year with a GIANT group from around the neighborhood. I guess our neighbor Brandy organized it, and Jamie was going along to chaperone, so she offered to take Anna along since I wasn't feeling well. That's Jamie for you - always asking if she can help me out. She is amazing!!

I'm hoping that a big group is going again, so that I can go along this time. I want to decorate my Labradollie with a pretty collar made from lightsticks and take her trick or treating. Doesn't that sound like a good idea? I think so. Good doggie socialization practice.

We have enough candy for the entire U.S. armed forces. The boys take care of monitoring the candy bowl on the porch, while playing statues in their all-black, faceless robes. As mentioned before, anyone too little or sporting wings is purposely not scared, or Lloyd or I give them their candy, but anyone from about middle-school age onward is fair game for the boys to scare the pants off of. Oh, but they have so much fun! The squeals and screams of teenage girls is just music to the ears! ;-)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I am progressing slowly but surely toward being ready to leave for surgery. This is very difficult for me this time, and I don't know why it's so hard. I think I'm fully over my flu (Tamiflu ROCKS), just very tired still, and I think it's more of a mental block getting to me. I'm forcing myself to stop, relax, and slash the to-do list by at least 3/4. That's pretty darn radical for me, huh?

Radical and HARD for me to do...but I'm doing it. I will admit to massive anxiety attacks since last night though. The anxiety makes me just want to get it done faster so that it's done. I'm really torn trying to figure out what would get rid of the anxiety better-- getting everything DONE as fast as humanly possible so I can be DONE, or just doing a tiny bit at a time and knowing that I'll manage to be ready in time somehow. Urgh!! Lots of anxiety!! I want to just relax and enjoy Halloween, but I feel like I can't d

o that; I have to work, work, work until I've got every last thing ready to go.

I know that it will all work out and be done and be fine. Intellectually, I do know that. Doesn't help the anxiety any, but I know that.

I should get up and get to work on some of that stuff, shouldn't I? Yup, I should. And I will, but I do have a couple other things to do first.

One of those things is setting up a new blog. Not to replace this one--this one will continue to be the source of information about all of my medical fun and games. The new blog will be primarily to act like a billboard, giving information and requesting information on this insane Fremont cancer cluster that's developing. I think my list is

up to 19 people now, MY AGE, who have been hit with cancer in their 30s. This is completely insane, and totally unacceptable, so I'll be continuing to try and get information on as many people as I can, to pass along to the actual authorities on this stuff, the nice folks at the CDC. I am both fascinated and terrified to see what comes of this.

With that, I'm off, reluctantly, to be productive, so I can goof off to the extreme later!!

Random thoughts from flu-land

Ok, it finally happened. I have the flu. Everyone in the house has had some version of the flu, but my version is different than theirs. Unfortunately, it's very likely that I have the H1N1 strain instead of the seasonal strain, according to what I've read on the CDC websites, based on, among other things, the fact that I've actually had a seasonal flu shot some weeks ago . Grr.

At least the timing is good. I have to recover from this before surgery, or else! I have enough time now, and a little bit later I might not. Luckily, I also have THE best doctor in the entire world. When I saw Andy on Thursday, he gave me a prescription for Tamiflu, and by the time it got filled I very definitely needed it. Thank you Andy!!

I've never had Tamiflu before, so it should be interesting to see what it's like.

Meanwhile, cartoons are good, and "The Penguins of Madagascar" is the best cartoon on tv. It's actually almost as good as the Madagascar movies. If you're not familiar with it, it features the 4 penguins, of course, as well as the lemurs, King Julian, Maurice and Mort. None of the voices are the same as the movie, but they've got such good imitators, you'd never know. Can you tell I am quite impressed? My digital cable box gives me reminders of when to turn the channel for the next showing.

Also of note, "Mighty B" is a cartoon featuring Amy Poehler as this rather manic "Honeybee Scout" girl. It's hilarious. Once again, Nickelodeon rules the airwaves with GOOD kids content. The cartoons are actually smart AND funny. Can we tell I like cartoons?

Sitting in bed being sick also seems to get me a lap-cat from time to time. Lap-cats are even better than cartoons, but they tend to leap off your lap rather unpredictably.

So, we shall see how quickly this booger goes away. First thing in the morning and last thing at night are always the worst........At least it's good practice for my post-op confinement, right? RIIiiiight.

I'm sick. I'm kind of dippy. Whee!

Surgery Time...Again...

Now, who among you actually thought I'd get through this ordeal without more surgery? Anyone? Anyone?

Nope, I didn't think so.

My next round of cut-and-paste is scheduled for Thursday, November 5, at El Camino Hospital in Mountain View. It is planned to be a laparoscopic surgery, hopefully using the ultra neato-coolo daVinci robotic surgical system. I've had lots of surgery, but I've never had robot surgery before!!

The general idea is that surgery is at 7:30 am, will run for 2-1/2 to 3 hours, then probably that long in the recovery room. Based on that, I'd figure on being in my room no sooner than noon, but possibly sooner or later. Very hard to tell in advance, because recovery room time always varies AND this could turn into an open surgery at any point if the laparoscopic approach isn't

working.

The usual stay after a procedure like this is "a day or two." In my case, with all of my comorbidities, my slow recovery times, and a 4 hour drive home as soon as I leave, I'm pushing for the day or two to be Friday and Saturday with discharge no earlier than Sunday. I hate to say it, but I'd rather stay in longer and be farther along the recovery curve before I get sent home.

The surgery this time is to tidy up a bit after my last few surgeries. Some of my internal organs (well, the only ones I have left!) in the lower abdomen have kind of come loose and are bearing down on what's left of the vaginal canal, causing it to start to prolapse and invert. This is not any fun at all. My bladder and bowels are about all that's left in there and they're both kind of smooshed down right now.

The doctor is going to use a Gore-tex patch of some sort and attach it to a patch of fascia (connective tissue) on my lower spine in the sacral area. Then he'll stretch the top of the vaginal

canal up and make an attachment to the patch. The bowel and bladder will get attached somehow too so they can't try to escape anymore!

I can honestly say that I am REALLY looking forward

to this surgery!! Isn't that bizarre? Well, going to the bathroom has been utter hell for the longest time now because my urethra seems to be kinked like a bendy straw. I can't wait to be fixed!!

Luckily, this recovery should be far, far easier than the last one. Famous last words, lol.

I will again ask someone to step in as the CIO for a couple of days to update the blog right after surgery so thatall y'all know how I'm doing

Right now, everything is geared toward trying to get ready to go down for surgery while feeling pretty crummy at the same time. Everyone in the house has had some version of a cold or flu lately, even Lloyd, and he's usually impervious to viruses. I see to only half-catch it, which is way more annoying than having it all the way. All I know is that I'm going in for surgery no matter what, so if I'm going to get it, I'd better get it NOW so it can be gone by the time it's time.

Oh, let's see...I think that's about it! I have a zillion items on my to-do lists for before surgery, and I need to force myself to feel decent enough-- awake enough!-- to get them done, because I'll be really pissed off at myself if I don't.

I just hate going off to surgery, or even on vacation or something, knowing I'll be coming home to a messy house. I feel so much better while I'm in the hospital knowing that all my clothes are put away in the right places so I an find what I need with very little effort. My darling husband totally doesn't get it! Stuff like that, as well as packing for the little journey, forcing myself to not take the kitchen sink, will make a big difference in my mental state and therefore my physical condition as well. Stupid, but true. I'm just totally anal that way.

With that, I'll open up the floor to questions...

Hey!! At least I'll have something to write about again, huh?! Whoo hoo!!

A few thoughts on cars, high school reunions & color-coordinated duct tape

Note: This entry is the chronicle of my rather ill-fated trip down to the Bay Area to attend my class reunion. I'll be posting the info about my upcoming surgery in a separate post so that you don't have to dig through all of this to get to it!

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Friday:

Have you ever had one of those times where you just KNOW you shouldn't go - wherever it is that you're supposed to be going- and you go anyway, and everything else that happens from the time you leave the house confirms your first instinct, that you shouldn't go?

I shouldn't have gone. But I did, and here I am, at the beginning of what is proving to be the most expensive trip from Gridley to Santa Clara in the history of the universe.

The drive down wasn't bad at all. I took just about forever to pack, and I think I brought the kitchen sink. After I finally got my shit in gear, got loaded up and got out, I headed out to Yuba City to pick up my favorite vintage 50s party dress at the dry cleaners and get my nails done. A quick trip to Target to wander the clothing department didn't yield a dress alternative for tonight, sadly, but I did find THE best pair of leather gloves in the history of leather gloves. Nice.

I think that during the time I was in Yuba City I almost turned around and went back home about 6 or 7 times. But I didn't. I went.

The drive down actually wasn't bad at all. Shockingly enough, I didn't even have to stop for a potty break! I ran into a bit of traffic just over the bridge, into Concord and Walnut Creek, thanks to two accidents, one on each side of the freeway, in the exact same place! How weird is that? Otherwise, it was smooth sailing in my direction, but looking at the other side of the freeway confirmed that there was no way in hell I could turn around and go home. Ever! Well, it looked like that.

I got to the hotel in great time. Unfortunately, 99.9% of the parking lot was closed off to have the stripes repainted. It would open in the next afternoon, but meanwhile, any parking was the garage behind the hotel.

I pulled up to the valet to get my pounds of stuff unloaded, and, fatefully, rolled down the passenger side window.

THAT was the end of the trip being easy.

Why? Because the god damned window wouldn't go back up.

Not with the switch on my door, not with the switch on the passenger door, not from being pulled up by a bellman, while the car engine was on, and not, eventually, by the nice AAA Road Service guy, an hour+ later, after I had to unload my car down to the registration and garage door opener and everything else in there, check in, get my shit hauled upstairs, call AAA the first time and get left on hold for 17 minutes, call them again and have them not put me on hold, go downstairs again and beg the valets to let it sit in front of the hotel and put into on of the only 12 valet spots they had, so that someone could make sure the car didn't disappear.

There's where it started to get expensive!

But…it's under watchful eyes of the great Hyatt bellmen who know about my window problem, and it's even very easy to see from my window up here on the seventh floor. That gives me some nice peace of mind.

The plan was to first to the smartest thing I can ever do - call Daddy. I asked him if he could come and help me put something over the window, which he could, and then I'd call the shop that the tow truck guy came from first thing on Monday morning to get the window fixed and rent a car to go to the doctor in the afternoon.

Then I came back up to my room, and after eating a little snack, discovered that the tub of fresh mozzarella balls marinated in oil that I had in my cooler had cracked, and my cooler was now an oil slick of seasoned oil.

Later, I barfed a few times.

Saturday:

Well, the next morning, Daddy came to the rescue to help me close up the window with plastic and duct tape. Daddy always comes to the rescue, thank the deity of your choice, and this time he came with duct tape to match my car. How cool is that?

Eventually, it was time to go to the reunion, the whole reason I was here. MY DRESS FIT!! Yes, I was very afraid that it wouldn't, thanks to my weird weight fluctuations! So, I had my favorite vintage party dress, and I felt comfortable, which makes "the" difference in how much I enjoy myself at an event.

Darcy came and I lent her shoes, since hers were way too big. Then I gave her surgical tape so she could tape herself into her dress. These are perfectly normal Darcy-related activities.

The reunion was very nice. It was great to see people and get a chance to catch up a bit. The evening just went by so quickly that is was a blur! There are some truly horribly embarrassing pictures of me out there, mainly because Darcy was doing something to make me embarrassed in all the pictures. Our reunion committee worked their little butts off making the night wonderful. I think, as a former event planner and Certified Meeting Professional, I can say that they did an exemplary job.

Thank you guys. You deserve a big round of applause.

The high point of the evening, for me, was when Pauline got there, because she actually CAME!!!!!!!! We did a lot of sitting and talking, while Darcy did a lot of walking and mingling. I am not so good at mingling. Darcy has no such problems. Unfortunately, the low point of the evening was when I came up to the room mid-party to barf up my nice vegetarian dinner. Minor details, right?

Sunday:

Well, unfortunately, today eventually brought more barfing.

Thankfully, I was able to enjoy a wonderful afternoon with Dawn though, which was another major high point of the trip.

I was supposed to go to dinner tonight with Daddy in Hayward, but right after Dawn left, the barfing started again, along with lots of other things. I was hot flash-y while she was here, and feeling kind of sick-ish, but I fought it off for a while.

I spent my evening laying very, very still and not eating. I actually didn't really eat all day long, which was probably for the best.

Monday…..Tuesday:

I didn't feel any better on Monday morning, but I got up at 6 am anyway, so that I could call the car repair shop, take the truck in, rent a car, and be functional in time to go see my surgeon.

I somehow managed to do every one of those things. The only hard part was not falling asleep in the time between getting the rental car and going to the doctor.

By the time I left the doctor's office, I was scheduled for surgery in November to correct the vaginal prolapse I've developed, which really makes me slightly miserable a lot of the time. I don't want to have more surgery, especially right at the holiday season again, but I have to do it. My next post will explain the details.

By the time I was done at the doctor, my car was ready to pick up. Sadly, it wasn't fixed, but they did manage to put the window up into the window frame in the UP position, so I could at least drive it home safely. Let me tell you, that was a very, very good thing…..

I spent the evening laying around some more feeling icky, but Dawn dropped by to visit again before she headed to work for a night shift and that was very nice.

By the time I got up to leave on Tuesday morning, the monsoon had arrived. Wind, rain, and absolute zero visibility along a very large part of the drive home became the norm. Some parts of Hwy 113 were flooded, and other parts had big pieces of tree blowing across the road. Whee.

Luckily, I got home safely, just very, very tired. If I'd had to make the drive without the window being fixed, it would have been a very different story, so let me give out a big reference for Fortes Auto Repair in Mountain View. 5 stars!!

I am still very, very tired. Today is was Thursday, and I don't even remember yesterday. I've been trying all morning to catch up on "housekeeping" tasks, like calling all my doctors to tell them about my upcoming surgery. I think, now, as soon as I put this entry up on the blog, it will officially be time for my nap.

Stay tuned in the next day or so for the detailed info on my upcoming surgery. I promise the full explanation, but right now, I've got to get some rest.

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Oops. I was so tired I forgot to post this earlier!!

Off to see the wizard....

Or something like that. Actually, I'm off to see the JFK Class of '89 20-year reunion, which has even less chance of providing me with a brain, a heart or courage.

Nothing about this trip is quite working out the way I originally planned it, which is leading to one of my classic little agoraphobia episodes. I don't wanna go! I'll be perfectly happy once I'm there, mind you, but I don't wanna do all the stuff it takes to get there. I want to lay down on the couch and hide with a puppy or three and a book and not move.

But, alas, I now have an appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Pisani, on Monday down in Mountain View, so I have to go no matter what. It'll be the first time I've seen him in forever, and now I need that nasty prolapse fixed as soon as possible. It's very likely that I'll be back down there having surgery in the not too distant future. Pooooooooo.

Right now, it's time to go get ready to run errands and get my hair done and eat something and then start sorting clothes and gathering toiletries and accessories and knitting and books and all my wardrobe options for the reunion and and and and and and and

I would like to be taking a nap instead.

Ok Mom...puppy pictures, as requested! Notice how the "puppy" is far larger than Sparky now! She's far taller than either Pea or Sparky now, and outweighs them too.

Peadog loves her hoodie. She's weird.

My biggest question is where the Border Collie

part of her got lost amongst all the Lab genes!!

She's my Labradollie. :-