FINALLY...sheesh. The whole season so far has felt pretty BLAH, like it's August or something. Just nothing there, bad or good. I never, ever would have guessed what it would take to turn things around for me. It was really something rather small-ish, and one of the last things I personally EVER would have asked Santa to bring me: another kid.
Yup, you read that right.
See, the child in question is one of nature's most perfect species, The Grandchild.
Then again, she is also a pretty damned sweet, smart, adorable and perfect example of that perfect species. ;-> NOT that I'm biased or anything, because I am absolutely not.
But anyway, Lloyd decided that since he was down visiting with his Dad, brother and other relatives down in Jason's neck of the wood, AND since Jason, Chrissy & the kids would be coming here on Thursday for their Christmas visit, he'd just bring Juliet home with him. Somehow or another, it was just the thing. I'm apparently incapable of keeping my holiday blahs in place while she's around.
They're going home after dinner on Xmas eve which kind of bums me out, because I love watching her and Wyatt open their gifts. But, it will be good for them to have Santa come to their own house this year too. Earlier today she asked me, in the most pleading, wheedling little voice ever, if she could open just one of her presents while she was here. I got a huge kick out of watching her reaction when I told her that unless her mommy had a problem with it (there's a very valid reason why her mommy might might need her to wait on one of them) the she got to open ALL of them. Serious grandparent moment there!!!
She is just such a happy little being that I guess it rubs off. She bops around the house, playing here, torturing a teenaged uncle there, and telling me that she likes doing chores. Well, chores not including helping Anna clean her pit. Juliet said the same thing we're all thinking - " I just don't know where to start!" before she gave up. Luckily, she likes making cookies with me even better, so I've been finding ways to keep her occupied and feeling " useful." Tomorrow will be a heavy baking kind of day around here.
I'm just glad I've slid further over from Grinch to Who on the official Who-ville Christmas Spirit Meter, which I totally just made up right now. I was feeling pretty Grinchy there for a while.
Christmas IS coming, whether we want it to one not, and there is still lots to do to get ready, but I'm up an elf, so I have more help than usual.
Ho ho ho!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
And the result was....
(the results of the CT/angio performed this afternoon are....). NEGATIVE for any blood clots, which is what they were looking for, and shows no changes to all the other random stuff in there.
This means YAY, Good, Happy Day, skip and single a jaunty little tune.
I'm going to sleep as as soon as humanly possible!!!
This means YAY, Good, Happy Day, skip and single a jaunty little tune.
I'm going to sleep as as soon as humanly possible!!!
Update!
Well, there is sort of an update that I have to squeeze in here before it's time to leave.
I saw Roni yesterday, Dr. Mazj's PA. (physicians assistant) That's normal, as I see one or the other of them the day before each chemo.
In telling her what had been going on since our last chat, I had to tell her about some chest pain incidents I'd had a few times. I know from what the doctor told me that these pains had nothing at all to do with my cancer - they were allergy/asthma/flu kind of pains associated with a cough or congestion, or were very obviously part of an anxiety attack in progress.
But, I had to tell her. She had to tell Dr. Mazj.
::sigh::
SO, instead of JUST having chemo today, I am having an angio-CT, and THEN chemo. Grr.
I'll let the Internet explain:
"CT imaging uses special x-ray equipment to produce multiple images and a computer to join them together in multidimensional views. In CT angiography (CTA), computed tomography using a contrast material is injected into a peripheral vein to produce detailed images of both blood vessels and tissues."
Yeah, that. Other than the IV, it's painless. Hopefully, it will use the same CT machine I've been thru before, which will make it non-claustrophobic as well.
Despite all of that useful knowledge, I am still more than slightly anxiety-attacked about it all. I don't have the slightest idea why, but there you have it.
The results of all of my scans come back fast, and I'm usually getting them done down in Chico. Since this is being done right there at the hospital, I wouldn't be surprised if he had the results tomorrow when I come back for my Neulasta shot or even sometime during my long chemo day today.
Needless to say (thanks to the wifi at the hospital), I will have he results posted up here just as soon as I get them. If there is anything noteworthy to add this afternoon, I will make sure to get it up here, so watch this space!
I saw Roni yesterday, Dr. Mazj's PA. (physicians assistant) That's normal, as I see one or the other of them the day before each chemo.
In telling her what had been going on since our last chat, I had to tell her about some chest pain incidents I'd had a few times. I know from what the doctor told me that these pains had nothing at all to do with my cancer - they were allergy/asthma/flu kind of pains associated with a cough or congestion, or were very obviously part of an anxiety attack in progress.
But, I had to tell her. She had to tell Dr. Mazj.
::sigh::
SO, instead of JUST having chemo today, I am having an angio-CT, and THEN chemo. Grr.
I'll let the Internet explain:
"CT imaging uses special x-ray equipment to produce multiple images and a computer to join them together in multidimensional views. In CT angiography (CTA), computed tomography using a contrast material is injected into a peripheral vein to produce detailed images of both blood vessels and tissues."
Yeah, that. Other than the IV, it's painless. Hopefully, it will use the same CT machine I've been thru before, which will make it non-claustrophobic as well.
Despite all of that useful knowledge, I am still more than slightly anxiety-attacked about it all. I don't have the slightest idea why, but there you have it.
The results of all of my scans come back fast, and I'm usually getting them done down in Chico. Since this is being done right there at the hospital, I wouldn't be surprised if he had the results tomorrow when I come back for my Neulasta shot or even sometime during my long chemo day today.
Needless to say (thanks to the wifi at the hospital), I will have he results posted up here just as soon as I get them. If there is anything noteworthy to add this afternoon, I will make sure to get it up here, so watch this space!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
'tis the season, part 2
And, after setting an alarm for eight am, so I could get up and out early to do my final bits of shopping, we realized that our plan (out @10; shop in Chico, eat lunch, head up he mountain for 2:30 gastro appt) had a huge, Labradork-shaped hole in it......that would be the Labradork, who has to stay in her kennel/crate while we're gone. So far, four to five hours is about the limit we've attuned her to, and the above plan works out to something like six or seven. The new plan is to go shopping after my appointment, and dinner instead of lunch, which leaves me with several hours this morning to spare. My darling husband has the enviable ability to go (back) to sleep just about any time, any where, for any reason, but I do not, and thus am curled up with a dog in my armpit and a tablet on my lap.
Other than getting ready for Christmas, and trying to reduce my festivities to a manageable level, there has really been very little to update all y'all on. I thought I was done shopping, until I realized that I wasn't. That was a serious downer, considering I had done every bit of it via the Internet and one husband-dispatch to Target. I personally haven't set foot in a single store other than CVS in close to a month, and I was quite proud.
Toning down the celebration feels almost like more work than not toning it down would have been. I have to make a thousand decisions about what stays, what goes, what I do myself, and what I pass off to a kid. The kids really are used to me doing most things, or me and Anna; so I have to constantly consciously remind myself to force the boys to get off their computers and get involved. Thankfully it hasn't been hard - they've been pretty willing to go along when I tell them that after dinner, the three of the are going to finish the tree, period, end of story. I just can't do it now, and passing the job along to the three of them feels simultaneously good and like a huge loss. Well, mostly it feels like cheating.
I keep saying I have to enjoy every holiday I have as much as possible, but I just can't get up much enthusiasm for celebrating. Then again, I don't have much enthusiasm for anything except sleeping, and here I have the morning suddenly free, and I'm typing instead of snoring. Figures. Then again, again, there is a man, a cat, and three dogs in this bed, and not a hell of a lot of room left to stretch out! When we got this nice big bed, we thought we'd finally have enough room...instead, we added a dog. They need to make a bed size bigger than king, and call it "Pet" or "Dog" size - like a Cal King plus another double or something.
Anyway...
I have no idea where I was going with this, or if I was going anywhere.
It's probably time to wrap this up and check in with the rest of my life before its time to get ready to go visit my latest new doctor. (as if I needed any more, right?)
As always, I will try to keep this more up to date, and as always, I will probably fail. It's worth a shot! I hope all of you are having a wonderful holiday season. I'm trying to do that too!!
Other than getting ready for Christmas, and trying to reduce my festivities to a manageable level, there has really been very little to update all y'all on. I thought I was done shopping, until I realized that I wasn't. That was a serious downer, considering I had done every bit of it via the Internet and one husband-dispatch to Target. I personally haven't set foot in a single store other than CVS in close to a month, and I was quite proud.
Toning down the celebration feels almost like more work than not toning it down would have been. I have to make a thousand decisions about what stays, what goes, what I do myself, and what I pass off to a kid. The kids really are used to me doing most things, or me and Anna; so I have to constantly consciously remind myself to force the boys to get off their computers and get involved. Thankfully it hasn't been hard - they've been pretty willing to go along when I tell them that after dinner, the three of the are going to finish the tree, period, end of story. I just can't do it now, and passing the job along to the three of them feels simultaneously good and like a huge loss. Well, mostly it feels like cheating.
I keep saying I have to enjoy every holiday I have as much as possible, but I just can't get up much enthusiasm for celebrating. Then again, I don't have much enthusiasm for anything except sleeping, and here I have the morning suddenly free, and I'm typing instead of snoring. Figures. Then again, again, there is a man, a cat, and three dogs in this bed, and not a hell of a lot of room left to stretch out! When we got this nice big bed, we thought we'd finally have enough room...instead, we added a dog. They need to make a bed size bigger than king, and call it "Pet" or "Dog" size - like a Cal King plus another double or something.
Anyway...
I have no idea where I was going with this, or if I was going anywhere.
It's probably time to wrap this up and check in with the rest of my life before its time to get ready to go visit my latest new doctor. (as if I needed any more, right?)
As always, I will try to keep this more up to date, and as always, I will probably fail. It's worth a shot! I hope all of you are having a wonderful holiday season. I'm trying to do that too!!
'tis the Season!
'tis the season for absolute exhaustion, is what it 'tis the season FOR.
Could someone please remind me how I used to do all this stuff AND have a job and something of a life? I once remember going to three Christmas parties in a single day, and now I'm doing great if I can make it up the stairs three times in a day.
Anna is, as always, being an incredible helper and head elf, wrapping, decorating and anything else I ask her for help with. I just can't keep up with her, and like every other occasion that comes around these days, *this* Christmas is the one where I have to stop, sit down, and reevaluate absolutely everything I'm trying to do. And, inevitably, cut what I'm trying to do in half, then half again........and probably in half again.
And as I write that, I realize that it is 12:54--- and that I have to get up early in the morning to go shopping, (because I discovered that I am definitely not done shopping for my head elf) and THEN head up the mountain for an appointment with a man who will probably want to stick things up my butt. Yep, I made an appointment for that privilege. Gastroenterologists have the best jobs.
SO, more later. I just wanted to drop in and let everyone know I'm still alive! Chemo this week, whee!!
Stay tuned.
Could someone please remind me how I used to do all this stuff AND have a job and something of a life? I once remember going to three Christmas parties in a single day, and now I'm doing great if I can make it up the stairs three times in a day.
Anna is, as always, being an incredible helper and head elf, wrapping, decorating and anything else I ask her for help with. I just can't keep up with her, and like every other occasion that comes around these days, *this* Christmas is the one where I have to stop, sit down, and reevaluate absolutely everything I'm trying to do. And, inevitably, cut what I'm trying to do in half, then half again........and probably in half again.
And as I write that, I realize that it is 12:54--- and that I have to get up early in the morning to go shopping, (because I discovered that I am definitely not done shopping for my head elf) and THEN head up the mountain for an appointment with a man who will probably want to stick things up my butt. Yep, I made an appointment for that privilege. Gastroenterologists have the best jobs.
SO, more later. I just wanted to drop in and let everyone know I'm still alive! Chemo this week, whee!!
Stay tuned.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
No fair!
Absolutely not fair!
I went to see Andy yesterday, and now I have until Monday "off." (since going to doctors and dentists js basically my "job," I always feel like days we can stay home are like days off work.)
SO, what happens when I have four free days in front of me? C'mon, you all know the answer to this one: I GET SICK.
Of course!!!
I woke up at four, or some other ungodly hour, shivering so hard my teeth were slamming into each other, chattering. I had to put a wad of gauze in my mouth to bite on and not break my remaining teeth. Bundled up in a robe and hat and popped some ibuprofen to break the 100.4 fever. Oh, what joy! When I woke up again around seven, I still had the fever, but the shivering had stopped. Another dose of ibu and naproxen, and the fever finally broke around 8. Thank god, because if I have a fever of 100.5 or higher, I have to go to the cancer center or ER - chemo rules. I just missed it this time.
So now I have a congested everything; am dizzy as hell; feel kind of like I'm hung over; have a sore throat and a cough; have massive body aches, like you get with the flu; and have a major seeing-spots kind of headache.
Why?
What did I do?
Could someone out there please speak with the-powers-that-be and get this stopped?
I went to see Andy yesterday, and now I have until Monday "off." (since going to doctors and dentists js basically my "job," I always feel like days we can stay home are like days off work.)
SO, what happens when I have four free days in front of me? C'mon, you all know the answer to this one: I GET SICK.
Of course!!!
I woke up at four, or some other ungodly hour, shivering so hard my teeth were slamming into each other, chattering. I had to put a wad of gauze in my mouth to bite on and not break my remaining teeth. Bundled up in a robe and hat and popped some ibuprofen to break the 100.4 fever. Oh, what joy! When I woke up again around seven, I still had the fever, but the shivering had stopped. Another dose of ibu and naproxen, and the fever finally broke around 8. Thank god, because if I have a fever of 100.5 or higher, I have to go to the cancer center or ER - chemo rules. I just missed it this time.
So now I have a congested everything; am dizzy as hell; feel kind of like I'm hung over; have a sore throat and a cough; have massive body aches, like you get with the flu; and have a major seeing-spots kind of headache.
Why?
What did I do?
Could someone out there please speak with the-powers-that-be and get this stopped?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)