Negatory

Let the wild rumpus start!

Well, there probably won't be any rumpus, per se, I am very happy. By now, most everyone in my world knows (via Facebook, text message or late-night phone call) that my Pap test came back completely clean, negative, clear and wonderful.

There is, at this point, no evidence of nasty cancerous cells hanging out down there

where there used to be a cervix. How freakin' cool is that?

I am definitely happy, and very definitely relieved of a small part of my "nagging worry" collection that I carry around with me at all times, but while some intellectual part of my brain says, "Dude, you're supposed to throw a party or something," I can't really wrap myself around the idea and get too excited. I'm just kind of flat.... Lloyd and I were talking about it last night, and figure that maybe that's because I've just got so many other things going on, medically-speaking, that one thing will just keep cancelling another out or something.

Yesterday, before I got the Pap news, I went to see the pulmonologist up in Paradise. Shockingly, he was actually quite NICE and likeable this time, and told me that all scans and x-rays and everything else show that those little "nodules" are still only 5mm and inconclusive.

They could be metastatic cancer, or they could be nothing at all, and unless they grow and move and start showing any sort of behavior at all, we can't know. They're too small to biopsy, and even with a bronchoscopy (which sounds pretty horrible), he says he'd never find them in there because they're so small. He says that he, himself, if he had these things, would not be at all worried about them. So...I'm really NOT. There is still that tiny, nagging worry part of my brain that will always be there, but otherwise, I'm ok.

Now, Monday, I get to go back and see Dr. Davis, the OB/GYN bearer of the good Pap news, for a much less fun reason. It would seem that my vaginal canal (or "vault," as they call it) is prolapsing--trying to turn itself inside out or escape. Basically, all the organs I used to have in my lower abdomen were sort of connected to each other by connective tissue, and helped support each other. I lost some intestine from that area in 1999, then the uterus, tubes and ovaries in March of 2008, and part of the canal, cervix, lymph nodes, and butt-loads of other scar tissue, cysts, and lord knows what else with the cancer surgery. My bladder, the main thing left in there, is probably the culprit, pushing down on the vaginal canal now that nothing else is holding anything else in anywhere, and thus the prolapse.

Lest anyone worry, this is exceptionally common. There are mechanical means of correction for minor ones, and surgical means if it goes too far. In my case, it hasn't gone TOO-too far yet, but... my BCCTP coverage only lasts for another year from Sept 1, so if it looks like it's going to need surgery eventually, I'm going to have to have it before the coverage runs out. Urgh.

SO, we shall see.

I am happy, honest I am, I'm just really tired, I guess. It's very early in the morning, and yet time to get my ass moving to go visit my favorite hairdresser and have this mop on my head FIXED so that I can live with it.

More news when I have some news.