It is time for a break.

My darling husband doesn't know this yet, and he's going to have a fit, but I am taking a break from being a professional patient, for the rest of April.

Ok, yes, if something happens where I have an emergent condition, and I really need something; fine, I will seek the appropriate help immediately.

Otherwise, I am taking the rest of the month off to rest (instead of driving up the mountain every other day), get my sleep patterns back to normal (after getting up at odd hours with the little one), bond with my puppy, pull my weight in taking care of my puppy and starting to train her, not be so crabby around the house because I'm trying to do 12 things at once crammed into the little bit of free time I have after getting up early and driving up the mountain for something, and lots of other reasons, but the main and most important one--so that I don't have a complete and total breakdown and scream and yell because I'm tired and crabby and sick of going to doctors appointments and I need a break to be able to take care of this new little being in my household and still have some time left to be nice to the children AND read a book for a little while.  

Complete breakdown is not very far away at all...and I'm glad I recognized that before it happened.

Yeah, he's going to throw a fit.  A big one.  Today is likely not going to be a good day in my household, because we're probably going to have one of our once-a-year actual fights.  I usually refuse to fight about anything, because I think it's stupid, and I will still hold to that theory, but sometimes I have to stand up for myself a little more firmly, shall we say, than normal.

I'd like to think that he'll listen calmly to my very calm explanation of why I'm so close to having a complete nervous breakdown, but that won't happen, and the reason it won't is because he is so incredibly worried about me that it makes HIM nearly have a breakdown.  I realize that, and I have to always remember that's why he gets so upset and freaks out is just that he's trying very hard to take really good care of me, and he's done so much to make sure that I have the medical care that I need and everything else, I can't fault him for that at all.

But, this is it folks.  I've been a professional patient for 8 1/2 months now, and I've pretty much hit the wall.  I need a break.  I have shawls to knit, and brownies to bake, and a puppy to train, and I spend all my time going to, coming from, recovering from or preparing for the next medical appointment.  No more.

At least for the next two weeks, if not 3 or 4, until it's time for my dental care marathon in the end of May.  We'll see.

But at least two weeks.