Apparently my body thinks so, because I'm rapidly losing painless or numb-less use of both of mine. The right was the first to go, as I've mentioned, and the left is following very, very closely behind now.
To explain fully, I'm losing normal use of the hands and arms, gradually. Sometimes I feel pretty normal, and then I move, and all the fingers of my hand go numb, or tingly. Or there are shooting pains up as high as my shoulder. Sometimes I can do things even though I'm numb and can't technically feel what I'm doing; sometimes I can do things even though I'm in a lot of pain and havev strange sensations like my fingernail is going to come off or something. Strange stuff. Sometimes I can't open my hand all the way or straighten my fingers. The pain is really quite intense.
And sometimes, my hands HAVE to work, like when I'm sticking giant needles in my poor beautiful cat, so I have to learn how to make them do the right things, even though I can't feel them. I do a lot of that, taking care of pets, fixing food, reading, typing or whatever I need to do in my daily life. I can't just quit, can I?
So, if there are fewer blog entries for a while I try and figure out what in the world is wrong with my hands, along with the other joints that are hurting like hell, creaking, popping and making my life an absolute living hell. I plan to have a great talk with Andy when I see him in a week or so, but I have to wait until it's time for my normal monthly visit to see him. I could see him before that, but it's $100 an office visit, so I don't want to go twice if I don't have to.
Well, after typing this, the middle finger of my right hand, which is the absolute worst of the bunch is shooting pain all the way up to my elbow, is numb, does not open OR close all the way, and is making me want to yell obscenities that would wake up the puppy, so I'm going to STOP typing now.
Wish me luck.
4 comments:
Oh Stephie....wish I had advice or knowledge, or lived closer so I could help you. If I could wave a magic wand I would have it all go away. Keep your spirits up the best that you can and fight through all this.....easy for me to say. Love ya, Annie
Okay, wild assed guess here, but all of that sounds very familiar. What I'm wondering is if as your immune system is trying to recover and make a comeback if it's kicking into overdrive and causing autoimmune reactions. The pain in the joints, the numbness--been there done almost all of that. Only not all at once and not as severe.
Inflammation in the joints compresses nerves and can also inflame the sheaths around tendons. And like evil magic, you get pain and numbness.
And just to make sure, have you called your chemo doctor to ask if this is even close to a normal side effect? Or ask Dawn or Megan? So far you've won the lottery of chemo side effects and it can't hurt to make a phone call.
If nothing else, ask them if taking extra strength aspirin would conflict with your other meds. The anti-inflammatory effect of the aspirin might be just what you need right now.
Hang in there, sweetpea.
Love you
Mom
I'm sorry to hear about all your are going through. Like aunt Annie said, I wish we lived closer so that I can help you with some of your daily taskes. From reading your blog I have gotten so much information that I can now use for my Mother-in-Law who has just started her breast cancer fight. Thank you for this blog and your truthfulness on how you are feeling and all side effects. Any advice you can give would be helpful.
Love you and take care of your self, and I will keep you in my prayers.
Love ya
Rhonda
I promised myself when I started this blog that I would be honest, and tell the truth about all the parts of the journey, even the crappy ones...It's been hard to do that sometimes, but I hope that it might help someone.
Rhonda, the first thing I would tell your mother in law is to get a copy of the book "Everyone's Guide to Cancer Therapy." It is phenomenal and gives tons and tons and tons of really useful information for each stage of each type of cancer.
The second thing I would tell her is to make sure you LOVE your doctor. Not just "ok" but LOVE and trust completely. If not, find a new doctor!
My hands were having a few good minutes there, but now they're back to being a pain in the ass, so I better stop writing! Thank you all for all the support.
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