Ho ho hos, I suppose!

Christmas is coming!

Yes, I took a break from being cancerous today (and even thinking about being cancerous) to start making Christmas come to our house.

We still don't have a tree; hell, we still don't have the house remantled enough to put a tree in it yet; but I was able to start working on the stuff that wasn't tree-related, and I got a lot done.

One of my main activities was making what I call "Mom's Tree" --or "Betty's Tree," or "Grandma B's Tree," depending on who I'm talking to at the moment!

I wanted to do this last year, and somehow didn't end up with the time. I had found all these little, tiny, cool old vintage miniature ornaments amongst Betty's Christmas goodies and had to find something appropriate to do with them. We had this little artificial tree that Lloyd used to keep on his desk at work during the holidays, and we never really knew what to do with it at home, so I saved all of the odd little pieces I came across, and it all kind of fell into place.

The ornaments were all very different--some needed wiring on, some needed hooks, being tied to the branches, you name it, but they were all beautifully preserved, just like everything else Mom saved.

I had to re-cover and weight the base of the tree, and "fluff" it quite a bit, but I think it looks pretty nice in the end. I'm pleased with it. It's going to take some effort to pack it up and make sure that the ornaments won't get damaged but I think it's worth it.

That's my "big" Christmas project for this season. For those of you who would know--if you look close, you might recognize things from your childhood. :-)

I hope everyone likes it as much as I do. I absolutely adore vintage holiday decorations (one of the very few things I actually collect, for all holidays) and the things of Betty's that we have here, to use now, and save for Anna later, are gorgeous. This was kind of my tribute to Mom, so she can be with us at Christmas through all of the beautiful things she saved.

My "smaller" Christmas project this season is a renovation of the nativity scene from my childhood. I *think* it was originially Grandma Voss's. It's the brown wooden one, with the whiteish plastic figures that like to come unglued from the mossy base all the time. Anyone? Anyone?

I'm planning to reglue all the figures securely and add more moss. I hit the bonus-jackpot when I found the glue gun. In the same box, I found some leftovers salvaged from California Mission-making. I've got some cool little fake plants in terra cotta pots, metal bells, a bunch of little white plastic doves, a tree and even a few orphaned padres holding baby jesus figures. I'm going to make use of some of that stuff and even put snow back on the roof of the stable. I think it had snow when I was a kid. I could be wrong. I would welcome suggestions from relatives who remember this thing!

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And, speaking of suggestions from relatives (and friends), I'm very thankful for all the suggestions and experiences everyone is sharing with me in regard to chemo. It's not going to be an easy decision to make, no matter what, but everyone's input helps.

Your experiences with friends and relatives who have been in similar situations are invaluable to me, AND your observations of me, especially as I've been recovering from this surgery (and there are only a few of you who have actually seen me recovering) are even more important. I can't see myself like you do, and everyone sees a different side, or part of me. I tend to see some things as being far worse than you might, and other things as being far better. I know it's not easy to tell someone something negative about themself, but I need people to be utterly honest with me.

I plan to take everyone's contributions and compile them all into one document, so I can kind of distill it down, if that makes sense. I can then use that to make up my list of questions and concerns for the doctor(s) at my consultation appointments. I still don't know when those appointments are yet, but they should be getting set up any day now, so keep those suggestions coming, please!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would rather continue decorating anything in the house that doesn't have a pulse, but I will do my homework.

Today's update: Bella, the physician's assistant from Dr. Pisani, my surgical oncologist (figure I should start differentiating the types of oncologists), called me back. I had called her yesterday to try and clarify a couple of things. A) Does Dr. Pisani want me to have chemo now, as her comment had seemed to imply, and B) Who makes that decision or "final" recommendation? Him? The medical oncologist who I have not yet met?

Basically, what it comes down to is a team decision process. Dr. Pisani, the radiation oncologist, and the medical oncologist all make their recommendations, and hopefully, they all come to a consensus. *I* then have to take their recommendations along with my personal feelings, factor in all the side effects and consequences, risks and benefits, and make an informed consent.

And yeah, for those who don't know this, I am INTIMATELY familiar with legal Informed Consent documents. Intimately. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Now, if I meet with the medical oncologist, and he, along with the radiation oncologist, feel that chemo is warranted, Dr. Pisani has given me his recommendation for the type of medication, dosage, and infusion schedule, so that we can see if all three of them agree and/or find common ground. Pisani would recommend that I got the chemo one dose per week during the same time period I'm getting radiation.

However, I can defer chemo if I want--even if all the doctors said I really need it, and I decided to have it, I could wait a while. Radiation is another story, and Dr. Pisani is very clear on the fact that he wants me in radiation as fast as humanly possible.

I got the impression from Bella that now that Dr. Pisani has done the surgery, it is largely up to the medical oncologist to make the "final" recommendation on chemo after he has reviewed all of my records, surgery notes and pathology reports. It is not like being shuffled off once surgery is done, it's just that the medical onco guy is the chemo expert.

All of that said, I have my homework to do before I can make my informed consents to whatever treatments I do decide to consent to. Lots of homework! I want to make sure that I am also intimately familiar with the treatments and their consequences.

So now we wait. Hopefully not for too long... It would be great if Pat from Feather River would call me tomorrow morning and set up my consult appointments.

Bella is going to continue to be my primary contact at Pisani's office. I'm going to be checking in with her by phone once or twice a week throughout so that she can keep Dr. Pisani current as I go through these treatments all the way up here and so that she can expedite anything that I need from him, AND so I have someone I can bounce things off of, ask questions, etc. She's really great, and I feel much better having her available to me when I need someone.

WHEW! I think that's it. I'm very tired, and I'm veryveryveryvery tired of typing a blog entry. I think it's time to lay down and become very comatose.