"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
Yes Mr. Grinch, it comes whether you try and stop it or not, and in just a very short while, it will be here. For me, that means Christmas, of course, and following close on the heels of that momentous event, the chemo-radiation double feature.
{For Darcy, it means Barbies will invade her home, and once they have established a colony somewhere, they will multiply. She doesn't believe me...but that is another story, for another time.}
But anyway! I'm not in a good mood tonight. I'm in a very sarcastic, kind of pissed off, way too tired mood. It will improve, I'm sure, but right now I'm running on fumes, I think.
I was supposed to go to the oncologist this morning for my chemo consult, then to Andy in Colusa. Lloyd wasn't able to go with me for this one because Anna had an orthodontics appointment, and then his car battery decided to conk out. He had to head out early to get that dealt with, and I was just feeling like I'd been beat up, so I called and told the oncology office I'd have to reschedule. The nice lady said they'd get me in next week. Logically enough, cancer patients have bad days, and driving yourself isn't always possible.
So, I'm getting ready to leave for my appointment with Andy, and the chemo folks call. Can I be there at 2:30 or else have all of my radiation rescheduled?
HUH????
Apparently, nice lady forgot that doctor wasn't going to be in after today, until well after the first of the year. Oops.
I called Andy's office, and in a Christmas miracle, Lorrie answered the phone and was able to squeeze me in tomorrow, so that I could make it up to Paradise this afternoon after all.
Left with time on my hands all of a sudden, I make cookies. And realize how tired I am, which (wait for it....) leads to me spacing out and forgetting I'm supposed to be in Paradise by 2:30 or else have all my radiation rescheduled and it's 1:45. I can move fast when I need to. I can also make it to Paradise in 45 minutes if I need to, but I can't recommend it.
The chemo consult fairly well sucked, in that I learned that actual delivery of chemo medication is far more complicated than I might have imagined, and that on the day chemo is given each week, I can plan to be at the hospital for anywhere between 3 and 5 hours, and that doesn't count drive time each way. I can also count on masses of nausea, the potential for serious kidney damage and problems if I don't change my diabetes meds temporarily and I will likely experience an increase in the neuropathy pain I have, since neuropathy is one of the major side effects. I will need to be driven to the hospital on chemo day and probably the day afterwards, meaning Lloyd and I will both be out of the house for something like 6 hours.
We have an appointment next week for "chemo education" which sounds scary. Actual chemo and external radiation treatment starts January 5 if things go as planned, and will last around 5 weeks. There are apparently so many moving parts involved in getting all of this scheduled and arranged that it is too vast for me to comprehend.
I had managed to entirely forget about INTERNAL radiation until this evening. That will be a whole 'nother adventure. Let's just say that remembering didn't improve my mood any.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, today was a total loss, as planned, BUT now tomorrow is pretty well going to be shot too by the time I do my visit at Andy's, hit the Super WalMart for final grocery supplies and get the last few presents [which I must do by myself] wrapped. THEN it will be Christmas Eve, because it will have come, no matter how hard I hoped and hoped that time would miraculously slow down so that I could sleep for a few days straight and still have time to make Merry.
I love Christmas, don't get me wrong, and I love all that comes with it, including the cookies and baking and wrapping and bows, visits from relatives and even the giddiness of operating on no sleep.
I'm just tired.
So very, very tired.
Somewhere around 73 hours until I have 364 shopping days left until Christmas.
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