Another day, another panic attack

See Lori, clothes don't always have to match......lol She looks adorable, regardless. Her fashion sense is entirely her own, and I usually don't intervene at all unless it's something like the idea of wearing more than ONE tie at a time. Then I gently suggest other ideas. She is a beautiful, helpful, VERY holiday-spirited elf.

I want to make very, very clear that I would not be getting through this Christmas season AT ALL--and it's gonna be close this year--without Anna's help. She deserves every gift she is getting and then some and I may take her out to her favorite restaurant as a special thanks after its all over. Wrapping especially would be lost without her, I'd be shoving things in gift bags on Xmas eve.

Today was a day. I slept too late, got far, far, far, far too little done and had another grand mal panic attack. And it was over the stupidest thing!

I've been working on coming to terms with the whole losing my hair deal, bit by bit. But tonight, I'm standing there, plucking stray eyebrows, when it hits me--I'll be losing my EYELASHES. Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!!!! Mondo panic attacks. I think I've almost gotten past it, but it's taken me a full hour+ to get to "almost" and it's 1 am. I LOVE my eyelashes. They say your hair grows back curly and often better than before. I can hope.

What the hell...I don't have to get up for a whole 6 hours at this point.

Tomorrow is driving up to the Cancer Center (we'll just call it "the center" from this point on to save me some typing) for my funky positioning appointment.

It should be far less snowy, but still very slushy and mucky, so the 4WD will still be quite useful in the slanty parking lot.

<-------An elf at rest Even the happiest of elves get worn out and need breaks once in a while, huh? She'd been really, really busy, decorating the big tree almost single-handedly. Conner was working on "his" tree, as it has largely become, and Trevor had homework. We set up the artificial tree in the dining room and put up all the Hallmark collectible Lionel train ornaments, along with a growing collection of Harleys.

I was sort of helping, once in a while, in between utterly stupid little periods of trying to sit on my butt and do precisely nothing but knit some little gauge swatches for chemo hats.

Trevor, sadly shares none of these sprited desires.

I don't know why I bother. I think I stress myself out more by trying so hard to relax. I'm not capable of relaxing. I just pop up off the couch every 30 seconds to help someone with something or "just show her" or write something down before I forget it, or...........or............or............

But I am going to go to bed now. It's about time!

But, I leave you the pictue of the present that is driving Anna totally insane. Thank you Auntie Cheryl!!!!!









Ok.............nightnight for all.....................more later, I'm sure.

The sleep-typing has kicked in.